


Thoughts of You

by hchollym



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings (Movies), The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Cousin Incest, Longing, M/M, Tragedy, movie-verse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-16
Updated: 2015-01-16
Packaged: 2018-03-07 18:37:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3178874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hchollym/pseuds/hchollym
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In Fili’s final moments, he thinks of his brother, his regret, and Gimli. Movie!verse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thoughts of You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Taurnil](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taurnil/gifts).



> I’m back! It’s been a while since I posted anything, but I’m trying to get back into the swing of writing. I’ve missed it. 
> 
> I actually really adore this couple, and I’ve been wanting to write something with them forever, but of course, the first thing I actually write for them ends up being depressing o.0
> 
> Movie!verse, as stated in the summary. 
> 
> Âzyungâl = my love
> 
> Gifted to Taurnil, who wrote the first Fili/Gimli story! :D
> 
> Comments are always lovely <3

As Azog’s plunged the sword into his back, pain shot through Fili’s body like an explosion. His vision went white, and he knew that this was it; he was going to die. There was an undeniable fear in his heart, but more than anything, he felt a sad sort of resignation. Everything seemed to slow down around him, and the world suddenly became quieter. There were noises around him, but they all sounded muted and muffled. Everyone always told him that he would see flashes of his life during his final moments, but they were wrong. Instead, there were only three thoughts that ran through his head. 

The first thought was that he hoped Kili escaped. His little brother has always been the stealthier of the two, and seeing as Azog hadn’t already captured him, Fili was holding out hope. He didn’t want his brother to die so young. He wanted Kili to become the crowned prince, to go back to their mother, to live a long life, and to find love and happiness. He didn’t want Kili to die on the peak of Ravenhill, killed by an enemy who was only using him to hurt Thorin. Fili’s own death wasn’t even about him; it was about Thorin, and the thought left a disappointing ache in his heart. He wanted so much more for Kili. 

The second thought was that he had failed. Thorin had been skeptical about letting Fili and Kili join the quest, but Fili had been adamant that he was prepared; that he could handle it. Thorin had told him stories of the kingdom ever since he was a small child, and he wanted so desperately to be there when they opened those doors. He had been swept away by the dream of reclaiming their homeland, yet now he had proven that his uncle had been right all along. 

He should have been more careful as he searched the watch tower; he shouldn’t have been caught so easily. He felt ashamed. He had been trained to be the crowned prince of Erebor ever since he was born, and now it was all for naught. All those years of training, wasted; he would never be the prince of anything. What’s worse was that he had broken the promise he made to his mother to come back to her. He couldn’t stand the thought of her crying, devastated and grieving over the loss of her son. It was his fault; he should’ve done better. He had failed not only himself, but everyone else as well. 

His third and final thought was of Gimli. Stubborn, proud, amazing Gimli. Thorin forbid Gimli from joining the company, stating that he was too young (despite being only slightly younger than Ori), but Fili knew the real reason. Thorin was afraid that Gimli would distract Fili, and perhaps he was right, but that didn’t stop Gimli from being furious. He had argued with Thorin up until the moment they set out. Fili had a feeling that Gimli would have continued arguing, yelling out into the distance as they rode away on their ponies, but his mother had grabbed his ear tightly and twisted it in warning. Fili inwardly smiled at the memory, though the smile never reached his face. 

He had known Gimli his entire life, and loved him just as long. It wasn’t one of those relationships where two people discovered their feelings for one another after years of friendship; there was no great epiphany or sudden realization. It had just always been there; a constant, like the need for food and water. There was no need to explain it; it just _was_. It had always been Fili, Kili and Gimli together, even when they were little. As they grew older, they remained a trio, but something had shifted between Fili and Gimli, and they all realized it without needing to be told. 

When Fili kissed Gimli for the first time, they didn’t talk about it, because they didn’t need to. It just felt natural. After that, the two of them moved from friends to lovers without a second thought, as if it had always been meant to be. Gimli was Fili’s one, and it broke the blonde’s heart to leave him behind when he departed for the quest. The one silver lining which Fili consoled himself with was that at least he knew Gimli would be safe. 

Now he selfishly wished that Gimli was there, even in the midst of danger. Fili missed the other dwarf so badly that it hurt. He knew that he should want to protect Gimli from harm, both physical and emotional, but Fili was dying, and he was afraid, and he _needed_ Gimli to be there with him. Gimli would give him strength, and if Fili had to die, then he wanted Gimli’s face to be the last thing that he saw.

As he felt himself fall through the cold air, he would have given anything to see Gimli’s face, just one more time. Everything was getting darker, but right before Fili was swallowed by the black, an image of Gimli’s grinning face flashed before his eyes. Fili felt blessed relief wash over his body as he finally succumbed to the darkness. 

_Until we meet again, âzyungâl._


End file.
